For This Season

{to auntie}

Just to give my sweet Aunt an update and to declare to the world that I will get to visit Oklahoma City, fairly soon.  How long have I been planning this?  I would call you right now, but, it's easier to walk away from the keyboard than to ask you to hold on while I discipline, run interference, or remove a spiderman wanna-be from a wall.  It's just easier that way. :)  Our phone conversations are always interrupted from something going on here.  And, then, in the quiet of my constant driving, I forget until they are loading.  But, you would get on to me for driving and talking anyway.  

I even took some snapshots of the boys for you tonight.  Total snapshots - no posing and actually  very few clothes on the little one.  You know, he peels everything off to his undies once he hits the door.   But, will have to upload those later as I have a long night of medical reviews ahead of me. Work has hit an intense level right now.  I'm beyond drowning right now. I am typing a condensed version of 601 pages of Nurses Notes.  Who taught nurses how to write anyway?  Apparently no one. 

But, I'm sitting here thinking about you and wishing I was there and not here at this keyboard.  The coffee I started drinking at 6:43 pm would be much more enjoyable with you than with this medical record.    And, with the onslaught of new assignments and deadlines from the firm, if I survive the next several weeks.....if nothing else opens up.....we may just have to make a day trip. I miss you and I love you!  Give the girls kisses from us!

{so sad}

Our sweet dog of 11+ years is on the way to the Veterinarian's office & I have a horrible feeling he won't be coming home.   He is definitely about to be in good hands, but I think something is terribly wrong.  Ohhhh.....this is the hard part of all the joy they bring.   

Update:  it looks like he may be okay!  I am in shock, but so thankful!  He looks terrible in comparison to his usual running self, but, hopefully with alot of extra attention, calories, TLC and the medication - he'll bounce back.  :) 

{absent}

To say it's been busier than busy is an understatement.  The next four weeks will be very intense in many areas for our little family - so the posts may be few and far between.   And, an onslaught of increased migraines have added themselves in a very unwelcomed manner to the mix.    Just keep us in your prayers!  

{happies}

Look what I just got for the boys!!  Well, I guess it will work for all of us......

It is a "Hooray" banner made out of vintage fabrics.  This was the only one that had a boy look to it.  Of course, my eyes were drawn to the beautiful girly prints.  Because, I am a girl.  But, I am a girl in a house of boys.  I had thought I would make one.  Yeah, right, Iike I have a moment to spare right now, so I caved and ordered it.  But, seriously, who couldn't use a little hooray as often as possible?  I'm thinking it will become a little tradition for good grades, good behavior, good choices, our Saturday mornings of blueberry pancakes.....it will be fun looking for the hoorays to hooray.  Can't wait to get it!

{fireproof}

Date night......thank you First Baptist Greenwood for having such a heart for marriage and family.  The childcare provision is much appreciated!

Last night was a rarity for Scott and I.  I think it was the first movie we have seen together since the accident in a theater.  He did have to wear his earplugs (one got stuck, it was a few minutes of panic) and his headset, but he made it through.  The movie was wonderful.  We both laughed and cried.  I cannot remember laughing that hard in a very long time.  Very nice.

The story behind the movie is phenomenal!  I just can't say that enough.  I wish every single couple (oxymoron, sorry, I got side tracked) could see it.  I walked away with a lot.   So many areas to work on as a wife as well as a friend.  I was convicted in many ways last night.   Now, I look forward to the next three weeks of topics at church utilizing Fireproof as the theme as well as taking the Love Dare challenge.  I'm working on Day One right now, and it's going well.  And, for the purpose of full discolsure - poor Scott has been asleep all morning - so that may be lending to the ease of the task. ;) Grab a friend and take them to this movie - it truly can be life changing.

You can view the trailer to the movie at Fireproof.   

{another note to self}

Over the past several weeks and in the weeks to come, our pastor is focusing on marriage and parenting as both are such huge issues.   In a recent HomeLife I picked up in SS class, I stumbled upon the following.  Maybe in only applies to me, but, others may possibly benefit.  At times, I even shock myself with my own selfishness in my marriage and my role as a mother.  It is rather long, so I will type it in an "installment" nature. 

The Sting of Selfishness

by Marden Philips

Diana looked at me in the same way she might look at a tarantula crawling up her leg - with horror and fear and a huge expression of angry panic.  

We were at a local coffee shop, and there wasn't a tarantula in sight.  Therefore, I assumed it was my answer to her question that had caused the painful expression on my young friend's face. 

Diana and David had been married for eight years, and the honeymoon was definitely over.  Gone were the days when he was a made-in-heaven husband and she was an adore princess.  David's attentiveness was now limited to his job and the TV, and  Diana's princess days had faded into housework, kids, and a full-time job.  Infatuation had turned to irritation.  He annoyed her and she annoyed him.  

Diana wanted a quick, easy answer to a long, difficult relationship problem:  "How did this happen?"  The fact that I have been married to the same man for 38 years qualified me a marriage expert in her eyes.  I assumed she wanted an honest answer.  "Selfishness," I said. "Selfishness?" she asked incredulously.  "Yes, it's when your 'ishness' is all about your 'self'".  She wasn't laughing.  Neither was I. 

The dictionary defines selfishness this way:  "when personal needs and wishes are thought to be more important than those of other people."  Hard to skirt that implication.

But, Diana had no interest in discussing anything but her feelings about David's actions.  So I read to her James 4:1 - "What is the source of the wars and the fights among you?  Doesn't it come from the love within?:  You give something even if you don't get it - so you give and give some more."

God's Word makes an analogy between marriage and how Jesus loves the church, so I continued my straightforward conversation with my friend. "Diana, having you is all the reward Jesus needs.  This is heaven's example to us of the foundation of a marriage that will happily survive.  Your spouse is all the reward you need for being married.  Being able to give love is reward enough." 

"But", she said, "why do I have to be he one who gives?"  

Installment II tomorrow.  That is enough to digest for today.  I know with our new found situation following the accident, on numerous days, I feel stretched to the point of breaking from "giving".  I will not say it's always easy, and I am human enough to admit that it's sometimes hard not to keep score....but, I do not have that right.  It''s quite easy for me to keep a list of how I feel "wronged" in our relationship, not so easy to keep giving in the midst of that.  It is truly difficult!  But, a necessary part of the marriage equation.   From the simple of DH not helping me fold the laundry by choice or not feeling well, to the those incidents of harsh words that are not so easily forgotten.  And, in all fairness, Scott could say the same of me.  There are days when we are both tired, irritable and short-tempered.  Given,  the effects of the accident have compounded that in a way that even I am still shocked at.  But, the sting is the same.  

Here is a little quiz that was included in the article.......

Here's Looking at You - Quiz Your True Self

I am often impatient

I am often unkind to my spouse and others.

I boast about my importance.

I hate to admit when I am wrong.

I am often rude.

I am more interested in what I can get out of my marriage than what I can give to it.

I am easily angered.

I keep a mental list of everything my partner has done wrong. 

I cannot handle the truth and won't allow anyone to speak it to me. 

I don't trust anyone.

I hope for and in nothing. 

I rarely protect my spouse in any way, from anyone or anything.

I don't persevere with my marriage relationship.  When it's problematic, I want to be gone.

The source for this quiz is 1 Cor 13:4-8 which clearly describes love.  This test simply lists the opposite of every description of love, which gives us the perfect description of selfishness. 

I can be pretty selfish, as ugly as that is.  Now, let me work on intentionally on being aware and changing that. 

{to my bible study sistas}

Okay........I hope you're sitting.   A child of mine could NOT possibly be sick again.  That could never happen.  Especially on a church night.   To a class I am realllllllllly wanting to attend.  But, I am pretty certain that Noah shared the little tummy bug he had over the weekend with his little brother.  We want them to share, right?  Ugh........   So, Erin, if you are reading this, I am hoping we did not share the wealth last night!  I'm thinking we just need to live in a bubble.  And, to my poor aunt in Ok City who I know is worried that we are sick yet again....I promise, it's nothing to be concerned over.   We are just more than normal susceptible.  The positive in all of this is Noahs was about a 24-hour bug.  So, hopefully......    I may return to the by the time the study ends?  Hopefully!   But, I'm not going to hold my breath.   I just might die.  I really don't need that. 

{infirmary}

You know it's NEVER a good thing when you hear "Mommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" at 4 am.  Noah has a stomach bug.  He is back asleep.  And, you know, we can't just do this one at a time.  Evan is COVERED in some sort of rash.   I hate rashes.  I hate them as a mom and even as a nurse - because they could be from so many different things.  It's an itchy rash and literally there is no pattern to it - it's pretty much everywhere but his face.  Poor thing.  So, he is about to get  sleepy on Benadryl.  And, then I will have to debate myself on whether or not we go to the MD to have the discussion of laundry detergent changes (negative),  eating new foods (negative), any accompanying problems such as sore throat, hands, feet (negative), new soaps (negative) only to be sent home with instructions to take Benadryl and watch it.   And, you know me, we always pick up something worse while in the doctor's office.  

Moms - any thoughts out there?  Anything going around in our area?  Oh......I may see all of you in a few months at this rate!  We did actually make it to church last week, I would be shocked it we could make it twice in a row.  :( 

{he}

is still sick. I'm so sad for more than one reason.  He is on the mend, but it has been such a slow process.  My MIL and mom are still not doing well at all. :(

{priceless}

for my birthday this year, my mom gave me the best gift ever......the initial journals she kept for each of the boys.  i was speechless.  nothing could have been better.  

here are some tidbits.......

noah - "jan 17, 01 your mommy called me today from work to tell me that you may soon be in our family.  she received a call today that a birthmother was very interested in she and scott for your family.  

"jan 18, 01 your mommy is on cloud 9 as well as your daddy, we are so excited with this news!"

"jan 19, 01 your mommy called me today with the most exciting news - you are a boy!! i walked around speechless the rest of the day.  at last, our baby." 

"jan 27, 01 your mommy called me tonight, she was lying in your nursery looking at all of your things, your bag is packed and ready for the called.  we talked for over an hour, she read me little books that she has for you.  i love you so much already.  just hurry and come to us."  

Evan

"jan 22, 03 today is the day i found out you were on your way.  your mommy went to see dr. kevin today and he told her that she was 5-6 weeks.  they saw your little heart beating.  he told her everything looked good and you were due in august.  my prayer is that we get to keep you."

"dec 29, 03 your mommy is very sick.  a great sign."

"dec 30, 03 the ultrasound today showed your little heart pumping so strong.  you had really grown since the last visit.  mommy still won't let me tell anyone."

"jan 6, 04 mommy got two pictures of you today.  we can see your little arms, legs and head.  mommy found daddy and showed him first - we are all so excited."

"jan 7, 04 i got to see your pictures today.  mommy finally showed noah your pictures but she did not tell him that the picture was of his brother or sister so, he looked at the picture and said "that's a silly picture.  it looks like a puppy"  again, they haven't told him you are on the way, just that everyone is excited over this silly picture of a puppy."

"jan 11 04 today has been a horrible day.  we have prayed all day as it looks like mommy may be losing you.  your mommy has stayed in bed all day as she has been down this road before.  she will wait until tomorrow to see dr. kevin as she doesn't want to go to the emergency room as there is nothing they can do.  i'm so shaken up i can't write anything more."

"jan 12, 04 mommy just called with the most wonderful news......everything was fine!!! your heart is still so strong.  she had a small tear, but it has sealed itself.  our prayers have been answered.  thank you God!!  you have grown so much!!  we are aching for you to be with us."

Truly, I can barely read those times of waiting for noah and evan.  it is so evident how God had his arms around us.  i couldn't have made it through without.  it's also easy to forget what little miracles i have.  i think i need to go snuggle a sick little one and play with the other.